Thursday, June 23, 2011

So, I am Probably a Zombie.

I mean, it is nothing definite, but after a nice trip to give blood today, the signs are pressing in. Before I explain, I need to probably elaborate on the details concerning my discovery. I'm O negative blood-type (the universal donor) and because of this the red cross is always on my case about donating. So, I was called yesterday by the Red Cross, who told me there was a drive the next day in a church nearby. It was the first drive since I had been home from school and I decided to be a good citizen and partake in donating.

Today I woke up, drank a lot of water, ate breakfast, and then drove over to the church. I read all the papers that are necessary to donate and then walked into the next room for the screening. This is when my suspicions arose. The Nurse spent a good five minutes simply locating my pulse, and when she finally did it was at 62 beats a minute, on the low side for a guy my size.

It was after many raised eyebrows, a questionnaire, and a finger prick that I was lead to actually get my blood drawn. Now, this turned out to be a major problem, because there was no vein to be found in my arm. The way the nurse was fretting made me feel that this had to be what my insides looked like:
With this oddity combined with my unnatural paleness of skin, I was beginning to suspect that something was not quite right. I began thinking very fast and came to the only conclusion that seemed logical with a needle being pointed at me: I must be some form of undead.

The drive's presence in a church only solidified this stance in my mind, as the needle burned as it entered my skin (no doubt it had been cauterized with holy water). Then, despite the nurse jabbing further and further, she had a great deal of issues getting blood to come out. I had no pulse, apparently next to no veins, and stagnant blood. Clearly, my undead theory must have some weight.

This was not helped by the fact that anytime I donate blood, nurses give me a very specific look. It doesn't matter if I'm the person they are working with, all nurses will give me this look of absolute terror, as if I'm going to die at any moment.
THE LOOK
They really shouldn't be worried though. If I'm right, then I must already be dead. It is, after all, the only symptom of being a member of the horde of undead I'm missing.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, I thought I'd just let you know: I really like reading your blog :'D
    they're just so full of enthusiasm!

    I will read all the other entries you have posted so far, but that'll have to wait until tomorrow, because homework is calling for me again (:

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